Two of them duetting in the oaks behind our house. The female's voice is higher — I never knew that. Stood there so long my feet went numb. Could not care less.

This bird has been hammering the same dead branch for three weeks. Today it finally excavated a hole and stuck its entire head inside like it was checking for mail. I whispered 'yes' out loud. Alone. In my office.

Yes, it's majestic. Yes, America. But right now every single birding group is flooded with eagle nest cam updates and blurry photos of distant eagles that could honestly be a trash bag caught in a tree. We get it. It's big. Can we talk about literally any other bird for five minutes.

Nobody ever posts about this bird because it looks like a piece of bark that learned to walk. But right now they're working tree trunks everywhere and if you actually stop and watch one spiral up an oak for two minutes, you'll wonder how you ever missed them. The tiniest, weirdest climber. A gremlin in the best way.

Everyone claims they know a spot. Nobody can actually produce one on demand. You will stand in 25°F darkness playing recordings on your phone feeling like an absolute fool. If you do find one it'll be the size of a softball and staring at you like you owe it money. Worth it? Unclear. Will I try again this weekend? Obviously.